Available Functions:
Faker().control.character() // => Ahti
Faker().control.location() // => Access Corridor
Faker().control.objectOfPower() // => Service Weapon
Faker().control.alteredItem() // => "Get Well Soon" Balloon
Faker().control.alteredWorldEvent() // => Albany, New York
Faker().control.hiss() // => You are a worm through time.
Faker().control.theBoard() // => < Another crisis/workday resolved >
Faker().control.quote() // => 'Let's get cleaning' she said, cocking her gun