Suggest deescalating rather than threatening

[GarrettS]

"Participants asked to stop any harassing behavior are expected to comply immediately."

That's not asking; that's ordering.

Don't blame; be responsible. Show what you hope to cultivate. Reciprocity is key.

"Conference staff will be happy to help participants contact hotel/venue security or local law enforcement, provide escorts, or otherwise assist those experiencing harassment to feel safe for the duration of the conference. We value your attendance."

Calling the cops to feel safe. Wow. Whoever wrote that's lived a shelted life indeed; and never has been pepper sprayed, beaten and kicked by cops, wrongly arrested, stop'n'frisked, had drugs planted, pulled over for looking off.

Calling 911 is a symptom of the society we live in. If things get out of hand, why not have someone just break it up and talk to the individuals?

[remy]

That's all great (although to me, taken out of context in the first quote instance), but I don't see a pull request to make this better or even the lines you've pull up that you personally take issue with, you could have suggested alternatives.

If things get out of hand, why not have someone just break it up and talk to the individuals?

Assuming you've actually spotted this happening while you were concentrating and contributing to the smooth running of an event, and are able to intervene early, yes, talking to the individuals is the right thing to do. In fact, if approached by a delegate and if they asked me to call security to eject someone, I would personally first speak to all parties (and depending on the situation ask if the delegate would be willing to speak to their harassor).

Common sense comes first over all things.

I'm happy to reopen this if you're actually interested in making contributions and have conference organisers and conference goers input to those contributions.

[GarrettS]

This document does not describe what you would personally do -- maybe it should.

I am actually interested in making contributions and that is why I opened the bug in the first place. I attended an event tonight, and before doing so, I read the document.

I think this bug should remain open for a while to get more comments from others.

[remy]

Agree.

[GarrettS]

Would you consider a draft? I'm open to drafting something up, though I've little experience with tech confs.

I'm convinced that it’s time to begin to investigate healthier and more satisfying ways of interacting.

[remy]

I'm not the owner of this document. The community and organisers are. So
please do and if there's an overall consensus that it should be changed
(from those both running the events and those who have benefitted from
this). As for me, I run a fair few events and I've no issue with the
language in this document. But I find Europeans read "don't be a jerk" as
normal (rather than particularly focusing on the negatives).

On Monday, November 25, 2013, Garrett Smith wrote:

Would you consider a draft? I'm open to drafting something up, though I've
little experience with tech confs.

I'm convinced that it’s time to begin to investigate healthier and more
satisfying ways of interacting.

—
Reply to this email directly or view it on GitHubhttps://github.com//issues/26#issuecomment-29188083
.

— Remy

[GarrettS]

I'm still voting for "Be Excellent!"

Goal:
"Conferences are intended to cultivate personal interaction. While debates can get heated, it is important to draw boundaries and be respectful."

Dispute Deescalation:
"Any organizer may ask you to step aside to talk privately. When this happens, you should comply or be prepared to be kicked out. While discussing, you will be given a fair chance to explain yourself and your behavior. There may a cultural difference or genuine misunderstanding. However, if you refuse to talk to the organizer and the offensive behavior is continued, you will be escorted out."

[GarrettS]

I object to outing people. I object to the idea of "asking" someone to do something and, then if they don't comply, using the force of the state to coerce them into fulfilling the request.

Instead, I propose a way of deescalation and positive conflict resolution. I've been studying this lately, having had to deal with a lot of hostility from someone I know.

My idea is to let people know what is expected and what to do in case of a misunderstanding. Would you call the cops on your brother if he was being offensive? I know I wouldn't. I'd try and deescalate the situation. Remember, police will always escalate the situation.

It works that way in my gym, and I have been asked to come into the room to talk more than once. Suffice it to say, the talk was peaceful, respectful, and resulted in greater respect being earned after each discussion. That is not something that will ever happen by calling the police. However, I am aware that others have gone into the room and been disrespectful, and as a result, lost their membership.