linkedin-copypasta 💯👌😂

LinkedIn is a source of quality material, often helping people find jobs and connecting people with common interests. Oftentimes, like any form of social media, misuse is bound to occur. This is a lovingly crafted generator of the LinkedIn posts we all love and adore. From the #truestories of kind-hearted, almost "superhuman" recruiters just going out of their ways to `help some poor candidate who in their words "would have never gotten a job otherwise", to the totally unbelievable "true stories" that happened (really, they did!).

Featuring over 300,000,000 unique possibilities!

Examples

I had a candidate reach out to me looking for a new position after a gap in his employment. He was not the traditional candidate, and most would have passed on him, but being the #mediocre recruiter that I am, I decided to speak to him on the phone. The conversation that transpired was #beautiful. I learned that he was launching a line of scented candles and got implicated in a class-action lawsuit against big-pasta. While he was running up a large mountain, a furious gorilla charged and he had to use his mother's cookbook to make friends with the agitated beast. He was hugged very hard by the animal and lost all sense of pride. This explained his gap in employment. If it wasn't for my ability to #becool and give all candidates from all walks of life a chance, this individual would not have been able to find fulfilling employment. Luckily we were able to match him with a fantastic #landscaping firm as a data ninja. This is why I love my job. #GiveEveryoneAChance #DreamJob #PleaseSendMeAMessageForFantasticOpportunitiesLikeThis

I had a candidate reach out to me looking for a new position after a gap in his employment. He was not the traditional candidate, and most would have passed on him, but being the #desparate hr manager that I am, I decided to speak to him on the phone. The conversation that transpired was #productive. I learned that he had been making stick-figurines for a living and launched a line of seaweed-based air fragrances. While he was sleeping on the job, a furious gorilla charged and he had to use his experience with bull fighting to trick the animal into giving him a referral to the nearest zoo. He was dragged through some sand and broke all his bones. This explained his gap in employment. If it wasn't for my ability to #shitpost and give all candidates from all walks of life a chance, this individual would not have been able to find fulfilling employment. Luckily we were able to match him with a fantastic #landscaping firm as a SQL ninja. This is why I love my job. #GiveEveryoneAChance #DreamJob #PleaseSendMeAMessageForFantasticOpportunitiesLikeThis

Now everyone can post #truestories on LinkedIn

Dependencies

• Python (at least 3.6)

To run

• Run python generate.py from the root of this directory for your lovingly crafted shitpost.